The end of the world as she knows it

Guy: OMG, there's a snag in your Sevens.

- to a girl in Campion elevator

Bedrooms are sooo the new bathrooms

Girl: Oh my god! Did I really pee in our room last night?!

-- on the way to class, outside the student center

So that's how it works?!

Guy: "Girls don't poop. A little fairy visits them in the middle of the night and makes all the bad stuff go away. (Pause) And also the bad stuff is odorless and colorless."

-- to his friend, in the back of a classroom, with completely serious faces

Thank God Rosa Parks wasn't alive to overhear this

Girl 1: Yeah, the guy told me that Belvedere Market is open until midnight next Friday -- for Black Friday.
Girl 2: What's Black Friday again? It has something to do with the Civil
Rights movement, right?
Girl 1: [speechless]

-- two LC students, overheard off campus at Belvedere Square

A conversation comprised completely of confusion

Girl 1: So where's [Name]?
Girl 2: He's bear hunting.
Girl 1: Wait, bears?
Girl 2: Yeah.
Girl 1: He's gonna shoot a bear?
Girl 2: Yeah, well they're up in trees.
Girl 1: He's gonna shoot a bear in a tree?
Girl 2: No!
Girl 1: The bears are in the trees?
Girl 2: No! They have those little... tree house things. Right?
Girl 1: Oh.

-- walking towards the bridge

Well at least she only LOOKS at them

Guy: That girl must have seen 4,000 cocks by now!

-- screaming, at night, on Notre Dame Lane

But friends always have the best ideas

Girl 1: I don't know what to be for Halloween.
Girl 2: Why don't you just be pretty for Halloween.
Girl 1: Shut the fuck up.

-- Boulder, just before Halloween

Working hard to get her MRS

Girl: Just 'cause you graduate doesn't mean you have to work. Find a man.

-- to her friend, during a class on gender issues

Hustlin' with a side of tenders

Guy: Hey, what's up man?
Primo's worker behind the grill: Hustlin'

-- Primo's grill

Geez, isn't surgery so inconvenient?

Guy 1: My girlfriend's going in for surgery today. It totally sucks.
Guy 2: Why?
Guy 1: One, she can't open her mouth for a few days. And two, she can't take the pill because it fucks stuff up. So I gotta wear a condom for the next three weeks. It's like junior high.

-- Boulder

But where are Martians from?

Girl: No, Venetians are people from Venice, not people from Venus.

-- to her friend, while walking into Primo's

At least YOU remember, bro! Yeah! College!

Guy: Yeah, so then I just started hooking up with her, and she was passed out on the floor in the front of her car. She doesn't remember, but I do.

-- outside of Newman

The key to success

Guy: I have been hooking up with a girl every night this year, and I'll tell you the secret. Just lower your standards!

-- outside of Newman

Did Wild Cherry get any royalties from this?

Guy: Mom, I can't believe you just called me out of the middle of class to tell me that "Play That Funky Music White Boy" was on the radio!

-- outside of Sellinger, clearly on the phone with mammy

Leif Erikson loves 100% cotton

Girl: Aren't you freezing?
Guy in T-shirt: I'M A VIKING!!!!

-- windy day in front of Maryland Hall

A different kind of "To Do" list

Guy: Yo, that girl totally just moved up to my "I'd Probably Do Her" list.

-- to his friend, in the student center, about a passing girl

Annnnd they were 100% serious

Girl 1: How much do those cost?
Girl with diet pills: 30 dollars.
Girl 1: Why are you buying those when you could just starve yourself for free?

... later on, at the register:

Girl With Pills: So do you guys think I should buy these? Or should I just not eat?

-- CVS

Garth Brooks rocks, ovi

Girl 1: Last night we went back to my house and listened to country
music. It was soo weird though because I hate country music.
Girl 2: How could you hate country music?

-- The bridge

It's true -- sex sells

Girl 1: You are going to get 100 -- stop studying!
Girl 2: No, I don't know market penetration.
Girl 1: I would be more worried about my pussy getting penetrated than market penetration!

-- A classroom in Sellinger, just before a test

Who could possibly handle how awesome this guy is?

Guy (to Girl): You know, some girls just can't handle how WASTED I get on a regular basis.

-- stumbling across the bridge arm-in-arm at 2am

With a name like Swallows, you never know

Freshman Girl: Oh what are you up to tonight?
Freshman Guy: I'm goin' to this place called Swallows... It's a bar.

-- Boulder

Not a ridiculous supposition on his part

Guy: What were you for Halloween?
Girl: Um, a sailor.
Guy: A slutty sailor?
Girl: ... No.

-- Photo darkroom