Father Knows Best

Girl (to her friend): Oh my god, I can't wait for your Dad to get here this weekend. We are gonna get so wasted.

-- Leaving Campion

It's The Little Things That Count

Guy: So would you rather choose to win 7 Tour de France's or have two
testicles? [Pause] Cuz i know i'm happy with my two testicles.

-- Upper Primo's

Would It Really Make A Difference?

Girl (about the players): I wish that I could like, text them and tell them to get a goal.

-- Hopkins/Loyola Lacrosse Game

And She Was Varsity, Too

Girl: I've had balls hit me in the face much harder than that in high school.

-- Beach Volleyball Court

The Latest Hot Pickup Line

Guy (hitting on a girl): So I've been listening to a lot more rap music lately

-- 9th floor Newman West

My Friends Call Me Hans Christian Anderson

Drunk guy: I feel like i know you.
Drunk girl: I feel like you don't, i think you think i am Thumbalenia.

-- Outside Gardens C

Loyola Scholasticism

Girl (to a friend): Oh my god! I just realized that i missed all of my classes today!

-- While walking towards Boulder

Sublime: A Potent Aphrodisiac

Guy 1: If you told her you like Sublime you could probably toss it in.
Guy 2: Yeah, I'd let her slob the knob just to see the four finger,
cartoon hand grab.

-- Outside Hammerman

To Hit Or Not To Hit?

Guy 1: So do you wanna hit that now or do you just want to wait till later?
Guy 2: (Takes a long haul on cigarette with a questionable look on his face) Seriously?! Now dude. We hit that now!

-- Outside Ahern