In Scene Six, Mel Gibson Got Drunk And Insulted My Rabbi

Kid 1: Yeah man you were fucking wasted last night!
Kid 2: Yeah I know! I was so hungover I cried during 'The Patriot.'

-- The Bridge

Just What Hall Are We Discussing?

Kid 1: Dude I'm really embarrassed last night i peed in her roommate's closet.
Kid 2: HALL OF FAME! That's Hall of Fame material!

-- The Bridge

The N-Word? 'Newman?'

Kid 1: Man you always say that word when your drunk.
Kid 2: Yeah I know, I need to stop watching that Michael Richards video.

-- Bridge

And I Thought Canada Was An Actual Country

Girl 1: Do you know where Spain is in relation to Chile?
Girl 2: Don't ask me. I thought that Chicago was a state.

-- Bookstore

Pretty-Pretty Absurd

Girl 1: I don't know, I mean...he's not the best-looking...
Girl 2: Yeah, but neither is she. I mean, she CAN be...
Girl 1: Yeah, I mean, he's not REALLY good-looking, and she's not "pretty-pretty", y'know?
Girl 2: I guess. I mean, I guess they fit together. What's her name anyway?
Girl 1: I don't know, R-something...

-- Newman East Elevator

And Just Wait Until You See What I Left In Your Hamper

Girl: Did you miss the toilet?! Did you fucking pee on our floor?!
Guy: Ya damn right I did!!!

-- Campus

Bitch Stole My Costume

Girl 1: What are you being for Haloween?
Girl 2: Santa's Little Slut....

-- The Bridge

Coming Soon: Sweater Bikinis

Guy: Dude she's got the best of both worlds, it's a sweater and it's low cut!

-- Outside Campus Ministry

The Beatles Rewritten

Guy 1: Dude she was holding my hand and making out with Michele at the same time!
Guy 2: NICE

-- Bridge