I Prefer To Beat Around The Bush

Guy 1: Her sister was really pretty.
Guy 2: Yeah? Would you stick it in?

-- Campion Elevator

Her Own Or Someone Else's?

Guy: So then this girl just starts biting the staples off of her butt....

-- On the Stairs in Sellinger

But Just As Delicious

Girl, To Friends: You guys are dumb as bacon. Dumb as bacon bits.

-- Street behind Newman

One Can Only Wonder Why

White Boy: I'm just a freshman. I don't know how to get bitches yet.

-- Hopkins Desk

Fragrant Flatulence

Guy: Careful, it smells like ass in here because I just ripped a HUGE disgusting fart.

-- An Open Apartment Window From Above, Newman East

Sorry, I've Already Got An Appointment With Family Planning

Girl 1: Well, at least he was honest with me in telling me that he's sleeping with me as well as other girls:

Girl 2: True, he is honest.

Girl 1: You slept with him last year right?

Girl 2: Yeah...

Girl 1: So do you want to go get tested with me next week?

-- Campus

Logic 201: Drunken Logic

Girl: This guy was really rude and annoying so I decided to make out with him...I was really drunk and somehow that made sense.

-- Boulder

And I'll Pour Pepsi On Her Tops! Oh, Wait....

Girl on the Phone: Oh my gosh, can we like set her up? We'll put
some like coke on her bed, under her mattress.

-- Bridge

Money Can't Buy Love, But...

Girl: Your teeth make you look like a heroin addict
Guy: Whatever, if my teeth fall out, I'll just buy new ones

-- Coldspring Side of Campion

Would A Rose By Any Other Name...?

Student: I wonder if the girls at CONDOM always have safe sex?

--On the walk to the library

Priestly Eye Candy

Girl 1: Isn't Fr. Linnane too cute, to be a father?

Girl 2: No, isn't Fr. Linnane too cute to be part of the 50 and older club?

-- On Campus

Ludacris Would Be Proud

Girl 1: I wish they'd get their dumb asses off the bridge. Who stops and has a conversation on the bridge?

Girl 2: I know how rude.

Girl 1: Yeah, move bitch get out the way, bitch get out the way.

-- On the Bridge

Reverse Psychology

Student: I got written up during FAC attack, but it wasn't fair. I was wasted but the RA tricked me, she said, 'Hey you look really drunk, what room are you in, we might come over sometime.' Up until then I just said I don't know, but then I knew and I said.

-- Outside Bellarmine

Logic 301: Scato-Logic

Shuttle Driver: Campus police call you all little shits. I tell em your little shits turn into big shits.

-- On the shuttle

Bacon Bit Stupid?

Student: Have you forgotten just how stupid the average Loyola kid is?

-- Outside WLOY